Some families are reconsidering who will be around the Thanksgiving table this year due to tensions following the election.
The contentious question of whether it is appropriate to sever relationships with loved ones because of divergent political beliefs has resurfaced in the weeks following President-elect Donald Trump’s victory. Others are complaining about not being invited to family get-togethers because they voted for Trump, while others stated they are opting not to spend the approaching holidays with relatives who voted for him.
Politics has long been seen by many as a forbidden topic at the dinner table. However, some claim that it has become increasingly difficult to celebrate the holidays with friends and family who don’t share their political beliefs as the nation has grown more politically and culturally divided in recent years. Tensions that had been growing inside ideologically split families and friend groups ever since Trump’s first victory in 2016 have culminated in this hostility.
According to a nationwide CBS News/YouGov survey last week, 71% of respondents say they will steer clear of political conversations on Thanksgiving. One out of ten respondents stated that they have rearranged their schedules to avoid getting together with persons who supported a different presidential candidate than they did.
It’s perfectly acceptable to cut ties with someone who voted in a way that affected you or those you care about, according to Alexis Voss, a liberal stay-at-home mom in Ohio.
Voss was one of scores of people who recorded videos on social media expressing their decision to forego their family’s Thanksgiving festivities. Voss claimed to have reached a breaking point after eight years of attempting to make amends with her predominantly Republican extended family.
Saying that you believe this is solely a political issue is a privilege. She added, “I don’t think this is about politics.” As a mother and a woman, I believe this is about my morality and fundamental human rights.
Public personalities have added fuel to the fire by offering their opinions on the subject in recent weeks. “I have a problem with the way that you voted because it went against my very livelihood,” said Yale psychiatrist Amanda Calhoun in a widely shared video, telling MSNBC’s Joy Reid that it’s perfectly acceptable to avoid those folks and explain why. Additionally, I will not be spending this holiday with you. I must take a moment to myself.
Conservatives were outraged by the remark, and Fox News anchor Jesse Watters was among them. He revealed on television that his mother had not asked him to his family’s Thanksgiving dinner. In a similar dispute last week, Elon Musk similarly wrote on X: It is narrow-minded and simply cruel to cut someone off because they supported the other candidate.
According to Jay Van Bavel, a psychology professor at New York University, the nation’s recent rift has been primarily caused by hatred of the other side rather than love for one’s own. He claimed that Trump’s reputation as one of the most divisive political personalities in American history makes this worse.
The Social Identity and Morality Lab at NYU, which focuses on the dynamics of shared social identities, is directed by Van Bavel. According to him, the lab’s study indicates that a significant portion of polarization stems from widespread misconceptions about the true positions of the opposing party, which is a result of social media platforms’ propensity to magnify the most extreme voices within either party.
According to Van Bavel, most Democrats are far more diverse than most Republicans, and Republicans are far more diverse than most Democrats think. Furthermore, the typical member of such parties does not hold the beliefs that we assume they do.
Diana Rodriguez Wallach, a young adult horror writer from Pennsylvania who backed Vice President Kamala Harris, stated that she is avoiding her family’s Thanksgiving in order to save her mental well-being.
I’m concerned that a political dispute could arise because the holiday is so near to the election, further dividing our family, Wallach, 46, said in a TikTok video she shared about her choice. Therefore, I believe that taking a break at this time is best for our long-term partnerships.
Voting for Trump, in Wallach’s opinion, meant supporting principles and possible laws that would actually hurt her and her family. As a Puerto Rican novelist, she expressed concern about the potential impact of conservatives’ attempts to prohibit works from libraries and classrooms on the grounds of critical race theory.
Jordan Williams, a Trump supporter from California, claimed that after posting on TikTok that his family isn’t inviting him home this year, he received more than 50 Thanksgiving invites from strangers online.
Williams claimed that his relationship with his loved ones has soured as a result of being the sole MAGA Republican in a largely Democratic family. He claimed that he voted for Trump because he promised to handle the nation’s drug addiction problem, cut costs, and eradicate homelessness among veterans. According to Williams, his family disapproved of his vote because they thought Trump’s plans would favor the rich over the average person and because of his racist and sexist remarks.
According to 23-year-old Williams, some of his family members insulted him in their post-election chats, but he still hopes to patch things up if they ever become understanding.
He described his sudden alienation as “honestly, it was crushing.” I’m a family man, thus it truly upset me to be shunned and expelled from family gatherings due to my voting choices.
According to Van Bavel, the tendency to exclude those who defy social standards has existed in communities throughout history. However, he continued, people must learn to interact with people who are fundamentally different from them if a civilization like the United States is to function.
Being shunned by society is one of the most common concerns. However, in the context of politics, it could drive them to double down and conclude that you are even more insane since you have taken this action to exclude them.
Professor of psychology Jay Van Bavel of New York University
According to Van Bavel, social rejection is one of the main worries people face. However, in the context of politics, it could drive them to double down and conclude that you are even more insane since you have taken this action to exclude them.
Scott Walker, a former hostage negotiator who now advises clients on negotiation and conflict resolution, is holding an all-day public hotline on Thanksgiving Day for families who may need assistance defusing political conflicts because temperatures are so high this year.
The mood management software Ahead came up with the concept after analyzing anonymous data from 81,000 American users and discovering that 44% of them predicted more political arguments at this year’s Thanksgiving than during any other Thanksgiving.
Walker said it can be helpful to prepare ahead of time for the contentious issues that are likely to be discussed by anyone who plans to attend a potentially uncomfortable Thanksgiving. “Listening to understand an opponent’s point of view instead of just listening to rebut,” Walker added, can lead to a fruitful discourse. He went on to say that while it’s acceptable to feel upset or let down, it’s crucial to control your ego.
You can leave at any time, of course. “No one is pressuring you to do this,” he continued. But politically divided families can benefit from bringing more curiosity than assumptions to the table if they’re willing to do so, Walker said, because assumptions are like earplugs: They get in the way.
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